How to Include the Mother of the Bride in Wedding Planning

bride kissing mother of the bride on the cheek on her wedding day

It’s so important to cherish the time you have with your mom on your wedding day if you’re lucky enough to have her there! It can be equally as emotional for your parents on your wedding day as it is for you, so try to schedule some quality time with them on the big day! Including the mother of the bride in wedding planning can be difficult for the bride for a few reasons.

There’s the fear of the MOB taking over, forcing her opinions on you, and making you feel bad about your decisions. All of these are completely valid reasons to not want to include your mother in the wedding planning process. But, to avoid feelings getting hurt, try to be mindful of the control you have over your wedding and be strategic about where she’s involved. We put together a list of ways you can include your mom, without losing control and having her absolutely take over!

Regularly Check in

wedding planning calendar
Photo Courtesy of Shutterstock/Prostock Studio

If you don’t want to invite your mother to all of your wedding-related meetings, we suggest scheduling in update sessions to your calendar! The two of you could grab lunch or FaceTime every other week to catch each other up on wedding planning progress. If you’ve assigned your mom a specific job to do, this would be a great time to go over that, and it gives her a chance to ask any questions she has for you. Be clear about your intentions from the start. If you only want to talk about wedding-related things at these check-ins, then make that known so it isn’t all you ever talk about with her.


Create a Shared Pinterest board

wedding mood board for a bohemian beachside wedding theme
Mood Board Courtesy of Charlotte Nicholas Weddings

Pinterest is great for getting wedding inspiration. Try making a board to share with your mom that you can both add photos to. This will help her feel included in your vision, and she can contribute some great ideas! It’s a good idea to take pictures when you’re meeting with florists or bakers and upload them to the board as well, especially if your mom isn’t coming to those meetings with you.


Make her dress shopping experience special

silver beaded mother of the bride dress
Photo Courtesy of Second Dance GR

Make a day out of finding your mom a dress! You could either hang out and browse online while sipping your favorite wine, or go shopping in person! Don’t let your mom disregard finding the perfect dress just because it’s for your big day! She should never feel like she’s an afterthought, and she deserves to look and feel beautiful on the day of your wedding.


Give your mom specific jobs to do

wedding invitation with clear vellum paper jacket and a brown wax seal
Photo Courtesy of Larach Creative Print

Use what you know about your mom, and assign her specific tasks to do based on her strong suits! Is she super crafty? Ask her to make your DIY centerpieces! Is she an amazing organizer? Put her in charge of invitations and the seating chart! Is she a master researcher? Have her look up who the best vendors in town are!


All of these ideas put YOU in control of the situation! What we don’t want is fighting, miscommunication, and closed-mindedness, so make sure you’re on your communication A-game with your mom.

Happy Wedding Planning!


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