How to Conquer Writing Your Wedding Vows

We think you know by now that all weddings have their ups and downs! That being said, one of the most stressful parts of wedding planning can be writing your wedding vows. It feels as if there’s so much pressure to make your words the perfect blend of sweet, romantic, heartfelt, humorous, and unique, but let’s be real. That’s a lot to put on yourself. Especially if you aren’t a writer by any means. We put together some tips to get you started that will hopefully help you feel less intimidated by the task of writing your wedding vows.


don’t wait

Wedding ceremony vows being written by a bride to be on a pad of paper

Preparation is key when it comes to writing your wedding vows. Don’t wait until the last minute. You’ll be saying these words in front of all of your loved ones, your officiant, and your new family. You’re gonna want to do the necessary work ahead of time, and we promise you, you’ll thank yourself in the moment when you aren’t as anxious as you would’ve been.


use old love letters, gifts, and mementos for inspo

Stack of old letters tied in red ribbon

Sometimes it’s hard to just come up with something to write, right off the dome. It’ll be much easier to get started if you have inspiration! And what better inspiration than old keepsakes from your relationship. These mementos will spark old memories and special dates, which will make it much easier to write from a place of love and devotion!


define the format you’re both going to use

Okay, most couples want to keep their vows a secret from their partner. Nonetheless, it may be a good idea to at least go over some ground rules like length, if you’re adding humor, etc. You might want to write your vows with the same(ish) amount of words. Doing that should alleviate any anxiety regarding how long your vows are VS your partners.


ask a trusted loved one to read your vows

There’s only so many times you can read over your work. Sometimes it’s a good idea to get a second set of eyes on your words, just to see if there’s a nice flow there. Give your vows to someone you trust that knows you and your relationship well. If you want to go the extra step, read your vows aloud to them and practice your inflection. Then, have them read your vows aloud to you, so you can hear what it sounds like from an outside perspective.


don’t write it in one sitting

Sit down, write, step away, write again, repeat. If you aren’t used to writing, or if writing just doesn’t come naturally to you, it’ll be beneficial for you to walk away and come back. Sitting there, staring at a blank sheet of paper can be really discouraging. Take a break and come back with a clearer mind and a fresh outlook. Many seasoned writers use this method and it seriously works!


make a list if you’re having trouble

black couple sits on a green picnic blanket in a field of grass
Photo Courtesy of Brianna Jones

If you sit down to write your wedding vows and your mind just goes blank, start by making a list. Try to recount all of the things you love about your partner. Hopefully this won’t be too difficult, you are marrying them after all! Make another list of things you love doing with your fiancé or a list of your hopes and dreams you have together. When you finish your lists, use those for inspiration for your vows!


keep it romantic but not too TMI

Your vows are supposed to be romantic and personal, but don’t overdo it! Everything you put in your vows will be heard by every single one of the people you invite to your wedding. Skip out on adding a bunch of inside jokes that nobody will understand, and PLEASE avoid anything about your sex life. At the end of the day, of course you can say whatever you want, but just run it by your best friend or your closest sibling to see what they think.

Important Tip: Don’t add anything that could embarrass your partner, you don’t want to start your marriage off with a disrespectful comment.


make a list of questions

lesbian couple having fun at a fair

Inspire yourself based on things you already know. Make a list of questions that someone may ask you or your partner to learn more about you and your relationship.

  • Where and when did you meet?
  • What things do you have in common?
  • What’s your most interesting story you have together?
  • When and where did you say “I love you”?
  • What was your first impression of your partner?
  • What are your favorite things about your partner?
  • How does your partner inspire you?

Use the answers to these questions to write your vows!


Hopefully these tips helped you feel a bit more prepared going into writing your wedding vows. At the end of the day, just try to write from the heart and do the best you can. Your partner will still love you even if you bomb your wedding vows! But fingers crossed you can come up with something beautiful to show your fiancé how much you love them.




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